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yanyan's stories. life as written by me.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
magnifico!

yan was okay riding the bus to school. she thought she would be late because she had to finish her hw's before going to school. she said a silent prayer during the ride. one time, tears almost fell but she was able to hold them back. she kept reciting reassuring words in her head. they worked!

during her first class, they discussed morality. she tried her best to listen to the lesson. but once her attention lapsed, she decided to write in her diary/journal. here the tears she held back, fought back and they won. she tried to cover her face in a handkerchief - his handkerchief. nobody noticed. good. she tried to pretend that everything was fine and went on with the rest of the class.

2nd period came and she was too entertained by their prof that she listened intently and tried not to think. it worked!

lunchbreak. after eating. she talked to a dear friend. then the tears came back. she went back to writing in her journal and pretended to be busy so that nobody would notice. only one person saw the tears slowly falling down but yan told her not to tell anyone. nobody seemed to mind. once again, she found solace in the handkerdhief. she tried to wipe them. with fear of getting noticed, she desperately rushed to the bathroom. there she let go of those damn tears. she went back to the table and got coins. then she did the only thing that she knew would comfort her and pacify the stubborn tears... she called him up. thank god for the pay phone. after the casual conversation, she was calm. she forgot about the tears.

last class. she wa still a bit numb and unexpectedly, she got called to come up front and do some script-reading in front of the class. being the actress that she is, she performed and did well. the numbness didn't show at all. her mind flew into the pages, into the lines that she had to read with feelings. it was fun. it was relief. after that, the class watched a movie. they watched MAGNIFICO. such a powerful movie can melt any numb heart nomatter how frozen it may be. now the whole class was crying. tears were everywhere. eyes were swelled. this is great! this is fabulous! now she wasn't the only one. everybody was crying. she couldn't be any happier. finally, she was in a place where it was safe to shed the those damn tears without fear, without holding back. she cried. because of the movie, because of the yesterday that happened, because of everything. but she was happy. the whole class cried along with her. this is great. what a movie! she loved it.

after class, she was all smiles. she bought an ice cream for herself then went to the chapel to pray and ask for strength. hours passed and she found comfort among friends, stories, coffee and a yummy waffle with whipped cream and strawberry syrup. the day ended on a happy note.


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